We all find conversation topics to crib about so many things in life…work, people, call centers, traffic, infrastructure..in fact, it seems papers like Hindustan Times (one of my Delhi discoveries) seem to make money only out of the misery of the world as they see it ..

Yet we find so little time to appreciate the fact sometimes it is not so bad after all!!!

I have always been of the belief that in general, people are good most of the time. This has been my belief system always. By god’s grace, there hasn’t been too many reasons for me to change that view. Well…there have been disappointments, letdown before but I have in most cases, managed to see beyond that….sometimes it has taken time, sometimes sooner… In fact I remember, long ago in B-school, when the whole world used to talk of RG (Relative Grading), that dirty word, I used to have the exact same conversation. Am happy that there has been no reason to change that yet.

And I then realized that actually for most people that I know, I suspect, that if they looked closer, each of them will have a reason to believe that there is goodness that still exists in the world. People like us (urban, educated folks especially the pseudo-intellectuals) tend to take for granted all of the things that we have, that we stop recognizing the good that is around us. Maybe if we started recognizing the goodness around and were thankful for it, we would be happier too.

Yes, there will be people who argue that you as an urban populace will live in your ivory towers. I suspect that the people who have to struggle through their lives (financially at least) probably encounter more goodness in people than we do.

When I searched for this, I hit upon this eBay commercial. Quite evocative. It’s worth a watch!

After a long time, felt good writing a post. Sometimes, doing the most simple of things take a whole lot of effort…and sometimes the most simple of gestures have the greatest of impacts…I think maybe we should just stop once in a while to look for and say a thanks for the goodness around….or maybe just say a kind word…

May we always have a ‘Joie de vivre‘!

Oh yes, and apparently these stray thoughts run in the family….maybe its a gene thing!!

Sometimes Nostalgia is about bringing a smile to your face….

When I see the ‘Hero’ fountain pens that is used by the boy…those pens were probably the ones that stayed all through schooling days…an excellent mix of music and visuals..quite a refreshing ad…

While I am at it…one of those evergreen ads…

Some of these you dont know why they worked..just that they worked and it touched people universally….

Makes you think..life was so simple back then or maybe it feels so looking back…
Well…for whatever it is worth….

For a long time, I have been living away from what I could have called home at some time. Every single time since then, my living surroundings have been always fairly bare. It was always as if it was never really home and there was no real point in decking it up…

But at some point of time, it started to feel good to do just that…it didnt matter if it was not ‘home’ in the real sense of the word. So now its about just doing it for the sake of doing it. It did not matter if it tied me down with the amount of stuff (that I may have to theoretically dispose in case I need to move).

I think it is the same case with people now. They may all leave one day one way or the other with their own lives but it didnt matter…the thrill is in knowing that it lasts until it lasts and then you just move on….it’s fun to be just be….you carry with you those few ones who touched you in meaningful ways, others you just file in the recesses of the mind to be recalled only on occasions…

My igoogle has this quote for today:

You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.
- Olin Miller

Indeed..I think the world runs on presumptuous self-importance. If I really knew how unimportant I was in the scheme of things, I would never really probably find the motivation to do anything whatsoever. I think when people are talking about how important you are to the organization, I think a part of us wants to believe that is true. Therefore while I would like to think I am changing the way the nation is moving to the world stage…the truth is that 1200000000+ people dont really care about what I think…

Jerry Seinfeld knew the answer long ago…a classic one:

…What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. “Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big.” “That’s ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later.”

Amen to that!!

I started to remember this item in all cultural fests during Engg days called ‘Pantomime’. It was not one of the most popular ones. People always like Adzap or Skits more. But to me, mime was always a more intelligent art form and I liked taking part as well as watching it (not that I was very good at it).

For whatever reason, a well done mime will make both the actor and the audience think. The challenge here is that you, as an actor need to interpret the thought, the context and the emotion behind the music and the gestures if you wanted to convey it well to the audience. Also, the audience will need to follow the gestures closely if you had to appreciate the true essence.

What makes mime even more cool is the music that accompanies..how the tempo goes up along with the narrative which is also reflected in the expressions and movements of the artists.

Again probably yet another thought to why words are just not enough…..the true languages are the ones that are not spoken….

I have no idea why I suddenly remembered this…but sometimes it is just as well….
Its a pity you dont get to see too many of these performances anymore.

hmm…an afterthought..
If our daily lives were a movie and it was fast forwarded at 20x, maybe it would look like a mime..

“People say it doesn’t exist
‘Cause no one would like to admit
That there is a city underground
Where people live everyday
Off the waste and decay
Off the discards of their fellow man

Here in sub city life is hard
We can’t receive any government relief
I’d like to give Mr. President my honest regards
For disregarding me….”

~ Tracy Chapman in Crossroads

Outlook magazine has brought out the issue on how the South of India is this cooler place (ask all the Delhi-ites living in Bangalore) ….

Anyway, the one thing that I did like was this statement ‘Every city is several sub-cities that coalesce, converge, conflict with each other, or remain disconnected’. That’s when the song by Tracy Chapman came to my mind… In the end, every city is schizophrenic in nature – almost like two completely different people living within the same body. One part lives oblivious of the other or at least as much as possible.

But then these crossroads converge or conflict under unforeseen circumstances…like we saw when Bangalore went berserk with the death of Rajkumar and Cauvery rulings or in a positive sense when the Mumbai floods saw people helping each other out without the schizophrenic sense coming out…

Somewhere schizophrenia is maybe prevalent in all people too. I have written about how the persona through the blog could sometimes be different from the offline persona. I guess it becomes a disease when one part dominates the other and tries to change the natural personality of the person. I think the same thing holds good for cities too. But I guess that’s what makes life interesting…..its always a fine balance!

There are these 2 junctions on the Ring Road (part of the perks of a new job - some million km of road to drive extra) where there are a few eunuchs or hijras (to use an old term) who come and demand money in their own inimitable style of begging. Of course, the idea is that people will feel so repulsed that they will end up giving money. My stance has always been that I wouldnt give in to this kind of arm-twisting. But when by chance, my window was down, this person comes and starts talking in such vulgar language and I am refusing to pay him/her. Here I am thinking, isnt this such a pathetic thing for a person to do?? Where is the self-esteem of these people?

Then after a few km more on the Ring Road, I started to think who was laughing at whom. These folks must be laughing at how easily these repulsed folks end up paying every day…Maybe they had more self-esteem than me and the other ‘normal’ people. Would they be sitting around a table and laughing at the rest of the world? Quite possible….

For a week I have been silent on the blog not for want of having anything to write…but just that I did not feel like putting on the public domain…… So Silence it shall be…Nothing much to say about it, I think.

Then I remember how I have always been fascinated by Simon & Garfunkel’s ‘Sounds of Silence’ and even in those very little words, how many interpretations can you make…. I have no clue why, but I seem to be obsessed with the word….and David Lynch’s ‘Silencio’ scene from that very dark movie ‘Mullholand Drive’ keeps coming to mind….. I wonder aren’t silences the loudest of them all and yet aren’t they of multiple shades themselves?

The silences in the forest with only the sounds of the insects and the rustling of the leaves when some animals move – that is a unique silence within which lies an entire ecosystem, the life of the night brigade ..of the animals going about their lives away from the disturbing presence of the humans

The ‘nothing in common’ silence….haven’t we all gone through those awkward moments when you are introduced to a person who you find have nothing in common with and absolutely nothing comes to your mind at the time….and then you take the safe route of commenting on the weather

The silence of incompleteness…..for those moments when we do not complete our thoughts or we leave out portions conveniently for various reasons..yet the meaning is loud and clear….the message is sent across….and the receiver is the interpreter here…

The ‘space in between’ kind of silence….the moments when nothing has to be said and yet it is all said….there is the special bonding between two people and there is no awkwardness in the silence….fortunate are the ones who have these moments AND recognize them

The loud silences of thoughts… sit in a room alone with the fan running away and the noise of the fingers tapping the keyboard…I could almost hear myself think…yet I smile at both the absurdity and the truth of this post…

Just a pointless post…
Its that time of the year when it seems like people are only getting married…..

The thing about people getting married is that for starters, its one person less for doing all the pointless things in life…but the really big pain is having to think of the right gift for each person… After all, the gift cannot look like it was hastily thought about…it needs to be classy enough…and of course, if not completely original, at least not a dessert set… why dont people just register for a wish list as in the US….saves some grey cells…

Yet another good friend in office gets hitched soon…and it’s slightly amusing to see him go through the motions of deciding who should he invite in office….would a soft copy card do? or does it have to be a soft copy + phone/personal invite for the managers? Of course, it is highly possible that only 2.34% of the invited population turns up for the wedding…yet the expectation is there…

Then the crazy shopping binge….every single day in Commercial St or in Forum or such other locales….and the bills keep getting bigger…. and of course the long-distance phone call if the partner is in another city….all the decisions on whether the sherwani colour will go well with the bride’s dress.. i learnt that ‘mauve’ is also a colour in one of these sessions that I had to tag along for… so i guess its not all bad…

No wonder then that the Big Fat Indian Wedding is a 88,000 Cr. industry!!!

This post sucks…i should really start doing something that I am more capable of… hmm…

Note to large readership group of 2: No smart aleck comments!!

One word that I have been hearing much more often in recent times is ‘self-esteem’. There has been enough talk of self-esteem being an important component of the development of any individual. Be it the workplace or outside of it, I think that’s the only real thing that keeps people going. In this article, the part that struck me was “A lot of self-esteem is dependent on self-knowledge. Knowing what you want and what’s important to you”.

In some sense, every choice that we have made from childhood is to increase our (or our parents) self-esteem, be it the choice of trying to crack CAT or being a talented musician or even being acknowledged as a great employee at work. In the process, if it is something that we become passionate about, it was an added bonus.

But what I found interesting was this. There is a theory of ‘the Paradox of Choice’ (longish video of about 20 min) where the author says that the number of choices that we are presented with today in every phase of life has created a lot more dissatisfaction rather than providing the freedom that we would have expected it to provide. This is not just applicable to the decision to pick up the right kind of car but also making life and career choices. (bear with me while I try to make the connection)

One of the reasons choices creates dissatisfaction is that we are never sure if another choice would have been better. We really don’t know what we want and whether one is more important than the other. Earlier the ignorance of not knowing which was the better of the two cars – Premier or Ambassador was not large enough to cause dissonance. Today, with the number of choices, the dissonance is much higher….

A lot of us Indians now want to exercise an option of choosing our own partner. Applying the same theory here, can it be that we are never sure because suddenly we are expected to be having a lot of choice as opposed to the time when we had partners ‘arranged’. It seems as if there are a lot of options, yet the choice never seems perfect. There is always that small seed of doubt…could I have gotten a better deal???

So now if we take it that self-esteem is a function of self-knowledge and self-made expectations are we looking at a whole generation with lesser self-esteem which could progressively get worse with the amount of choices opening up? Maybe we are already seeing evidences of that….. the kids who are in their mid-teens have so much more choices to look at and decide what they want to do….phew…

Then the follow up questions, therefore are we also quick to decide a choice was wrong and take necessary steps to rectify the error (as demonstrated by the number of increasing divorces)? Is it necessarily a bad thing to decide later the choice was wrong?

Yet with all this would I still give up the option of making a choice? Highly unlikely….

Yet another irony of life…